Tuesday, September 27, 2016

POSSESIVE FRIENDSHIP AS LIGHTS OUT’S STYLE – HOW TO AVOID IT

If you're already watching Lights Out surely you know about possessive friendship between Sophie and Diana who become friends since they’ve met in mental hospital. Diana who suffered from strange disease that couldn’t stand the light so attached to Sophie even until she’s death, after the doctor and scientist failed to conduct the experiments with extreme methods in an attempt to cure Diana’s illness.

They were inseparable when they stay there. Both had the same belonging to each other, even though Diana was dead. Their possessive friendship turns out to be some kind of door for the spirit of Diana to get into the real world and killing peoples. The relationship was interrupt when Sophie’s mental health restored, and she’s became normal in mind.

Diana can only return when Sophie in a state of distress or frustration so that the spirits are trying as much as possible to put Sophie in such conditions so that she can get back to the real world anytime she wants. Initially the sincerity of friendship eventually started to become manipulative for the benefit of one party.

Whatever the reason is, a possessive friendship was not healthy for one another. So beware if your buddy finds to be possessive person in such possessive friendship which can be seen as follows:

  1.   Your Buddy Always Insisted To Know Where You Are
Always want to know where you are every time. If your friend can’t reach you with phone call then she will try to do so through any media...she will check your social media, email, and even asked your other friends.

In the most severe levels she even ordered you to make tapes or video to update your whereabouts at that time...something that’s not sounds right, right? Considering your buddy isn’t your parents anyway...

  1.  Contacting Many Times With Unusual Periods
You may find text message on your SMS, BBM, or WA, or even a call every one-hour of range is something normal to show your buddy’s concern. Well, I think you should wake up from now…it’s not even close…that’s not a healthy friendship you’re looking for…don’t you realized if his/her message could disturb you badly?

If this kind of relationship continues then maybe you would feel uncomfortable due to the message delivery that certainly almost provoking when you’ve been busy at the classroom or office meeting.

  1.   Interfered in All Things and Want To Take Charge
Suddenly she made a plan for you about what to wear, where to eat and what should or should’ve not, when and where you could go. When you’ve been hangout, your buddy is busy criticizing the movie you want to watch and impose his choice, demonizing shoes you have wear and make comparison with your body’s choice that way much cooler. Beware not to letting him/her go into your private area that’s actually something that envies by angels from you…your free will…

  1.   Make A Boundaries For You
Best Friend Forever, so your buddy has said, considering you as her one and only friend she’s got, no one else, and asked you do the same. As the time gone by she becomes irritable easily when you spend your time with another friend, or guy / girl that suites you, even with your own brother / sister.

Playing roles as the abandoned later to put you on bad person because of it, trying to make you in guilt, so when you follow the game, slows but sure, then you’re being ‘cooped’ up with your buddy without having chance to know the outside world.

  1.   Frequently Asking Your Opinion About Herself
In a friend relationship usually communication makes by two sides which mostly talking about herself by the first party, while the second one takes a listen more and occasionally responded by telling the first party, also, about herself.

But possessive communication goes the other way around, your buddy want you to tell your opinion of how kind of person she was. It’s ok if only happened once or twice, perhaps she need your help to do self reformation, but if it’s in her head hundred times each time you’re doing conversation then you have to be alarmed…

What you should do when you find your friendship turned out to have traits like we’re talking about? Here are some tips to correct it to the right path:

  1.   Finding New Friends
Having a buddy that doesn’t mean you should have no other friends. Instead you need to make new friends as an investment in your future, especially networking that will be very helpful in your career.

When you already had new crowds just invite your buddy to get acquainted with your new friends. When jealousy or displeasure implied by the presence of new friends all you have to do is just point her out to remind her that she still best part of yours, being the closest person for you rather than your new friend, without prejudice to the possibility that you will continue to build relationships with your new surroundings

  1.   Maintain Your Privacy
Friendship doesn’t mean you have no privacy. If she began to read a messages on your mobile phone and often asked who’s calling you so the relationship is certainly not fun at all. Especially if she could read sweet talk he send to you of which should only you who got the right to read it.

Ask her nicely by saying that you don’t like her to read your phone message so she should respect your privacy. Perhaps you may need to change the password of your email, facebook account, twitter or any social media account if she already leafed through something that actually belongs to you…

  1.   Ask For Do-it Your Way
A possessive buddy wanted to taking care everything of you. That feels comfortable at first but without you even realized you become dependent to her, and the truth is not all problems could be solve by her because you as an individual who actually knows how to solve your own problem. When she intervened it may actually make things even worse.

So you better asked her to step aside for a while so you have time to think and solve problems with your own. Good buddy will understand, perhaps she will offered you advice but leave everything into your hands.

  1.   Do Communication To Exchange Opinions
Communication is the key to reduce misunderstandings that could ends with anxiety and possessive attitude due to ignorance. Possessive buddy usually always wanted to hear her opinion being implemented. She may want to give the best for you because of her high-level of care but she need to know also that you have your own opinion and decision.

It will be better when she gives you an advice for some issue, you also gives your side view about how you want it done so you also heard by her. Communication were not dominated with one of you and both doing it without pushing each other to be heard.

Now, take a best sight to observe your best friend behavior and do the four tips above if you want to become Best Friend Forever till the world goes around for centuries...



If it's not work, there’s the fifth tip as an ultimate choice…buy a gun…maybe what Sophie did by shooting herself to end the possessive friendship of Diana is brilliant, especially if your best friend was already a ghost and haunt you over and over again...

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